The LandPhil be honest, be honorable, be kind, be compassionate, and work hard.

August 1, 2005


Filed under: General — phil @ 3:37 pm

I have an ant problem in my apartment. I’m sure that, initially, it was my fault. I let the dishes gather in my sink too long, and a few days later I noticed that I had little friends roaming the towers of dishes. They were coming in under the front door. So, I cleaned up my dishes, killed all the ants I could see, and kept things clean for a couple of weeks. I thought I was free and clear.

Then one day I noticed that I had a line of ants come out from under my counter, across the floor to my pantry and up the side. I opened the cupboard and couldn’t find where they were going. I killed all the ones I could see.

Some time later I decided I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, so I grabbed the peanut butter out of the cupboard. It had ants on the outside of it. I opened it up, and it had ants inside of it too!! So, I killed all the ants again, fished the few out of the jar, and made myself a sandwich. I put the peanut butter in the refrigerator.

The next morning I got up and checked the “route” that I had squashed the night before: it was clear. Wooho, little fuckers. So I took another step into my kitchen and noticed minute movement. There was another, new line of ants traveling from under my dishwasher across the entire kitchen, and up the other side of the pantry. I was livid.

I went through my cupboard trying to figure out what the ants were in. Apparently, ants like Cheerios! So, pissed off, I called the apartment manager. She informed me that everyone had ants and that she’d send the handyman out to spray. I don’t think he ever came out as my ant problem didn’t appear to have been culled by the end of the day, and there was no indication (like the signed work ticket) that they’d even been in the apartment. Unfortunately, it was Friday, and I had weekend plans.

Last night I returned home with Grant’s Ant Stakes (courtesy of my mother). I placed one by the dishwasher and one by the pantry cupboard. This morning, I saw at least half a dozen ants running around on them. No noticeable declination of ant population, but I’m hopeful that they’re on their way out.

We’ll see.


  1. I had an ant problem for a while…
    I discovered that wiping the areas that they must cross down with undiluted bleach will cause them to die en masse. If you see a trail that’s more than about 8 inches long, make them cross that area coated in dried bleach and they shall perish.

    Comment by Dave — August 2, 2005 @ 6:57 am

  2. I, too, am having the troubles. I’m stopping by the grocery store now to get the craziest ant killer I can buy. Damn ants…

    Comment by The Loop — August 2, 2005 @ 2:30 pm

  3. I had a terrible ant problem when I lived on 21st Street in Tulsa. HUGE ants that I could see all the way across the apartment – some sort of wood ant I think – they were about 3/8″ long. These were the fuckers you usually see in a redwood forest, and it was especially awful because smooshing them caused them to pop like little juicy balloons. Eww.

    Ant stakes didn’t work for me because, ahem, THE ANTS COULDN’T FIT IN THE ANT STAKE HOLES. I don’t believe this stuff was around at the time: but reading the testimonials (here: ) I wish that I’d had something like this. Looks like you can get it just about anywhere.

    Good luck with the ants. 🙂

    Comment by diane — August 2, 2005 @ 2:45 pm

  4. Best stuff I’ve found is the gigantic jugs of Ortho ant & bug killer. If you found them coming in from under the dishwasher, then they’re probably hiking in on your pipes. You need to spray heavy duty where they are coming in, not just where they are traveling once they get in.

    Comment by cathy — August 2, 2005 @ 2:56 pm

  5. Ants are teh suk, that said, there’s always Terminix (who we use for bugs) who’ll come spray your place then be responsible if the ants show back up. There’s always a second solution: Divest your house of food. Nah. Just kidding. Get a bunch of tupperware and store EVERYTHING in tupperware. Put NOTHING in the cubbards (?sp?) w/o tupperware surrounding it.

    Comment by Taroo — August 3, 2005 @ 5:01 am

  6. cupboards, Taroo, cupboards. 🙂

    Comment by tim — August 3, 2005 @ 6:07 am

  7. Tupperware? Cupboards? Eesh.

    Comment by Amanda — August 3, 2005 @ 8:17 am

  8. It was 8 in the morning. I knew better than to post w/o looking it up…

    And what’s wrong with tupperware? The stuff is darn handy! I live in Florida and the size of the roaches here (not MY house, but Florida in general) is startling to say the least. Rather than deal with’em, buying a couple dozen large tupperware containers that fit entire boxes of cereal (box and all) make life a lot cleaner. The downside is, the wife always has a place to put leftovers which means I eat a lot of leftovers. The upside being my wife’s an outstanding cook, so the downside isn’t so bad. 🙂

    Comment by Taroo — August 3, 2005 @ 9:07 am

  9. Nothing wrong with tupperware. It was the cupboard part.

    Comment by Amanda — August 4, 2005 @ 7:51 am

  10. There must be an ant epidemic across California. Our new place is pretty infested, as well. So far it’s isolated to the back porch and 2nd bathroom, but even that is annoying. We’ve laid a dozen Raid traps to cull their numbers, and hopefully put a dent in their population before they decide that the kitchen deserves their attention. So far so good, but it’s on our list of “call the Landlord” items.

    Comment by Gnome — August 7, 2005 @ 9:54 am

  11. On the subject of “epidemics”… while levelling ground for a housing development her in Vegas, earth movers “disrupted” a vast underground colony of stink bugs. It got to the point a few weeks ago where you couldn’t walk anywhere in that area without stepping on a few.

    Comment by Dave — August 7, 2005 @ 11:04 am

  12. So how’s the ant problem now?

    Comment by Karen — August 10, 2005 @ 7:43 pm

  13. So, Phil, how was Burning Man? 😉

    Comment by Amanda — September 12, 2005 @ 8:03 am

  14. It was awesome. But you were there, so you should know.


    Comment by Phil — September 12, 2005 @ 2:42 pm

  15. But I wasn’t. I’m awaiting the signature LandPhil recap.

    Comment by gnome — September 12, 2005 @ 7:18 pm

  16. new post! Tired of reading about ants. I want read about dust!

    Comment by tim — September 13, 2005 @ 6:50 am

  17. That’s my point. We’re all BEGGING for you to post something new. It’s not like you didn’t just go to Burning Man and therefore *don’t* have anything to post about. You can even dork out and talk about all your big plans with wanting to buy a truck specifically for Burning Man and how you’re asking for binoculars for Christmas…

    Come ON, Phil!

    Comment by Amanda — September 13, 2005 @ 9:21 am

  18. But the prospect of not posting, just to get your goat, has to be irresistible to Phil 🙂

    How much ya wanna bet he goes and buys another domain name simply to avoid updating this one?

    Comment by nessa — September 16, 2005 @ 1:13 pm

  19. I will join you on this betting. Wouldn’t surprise me at all. 😀

    Comment by Amanda — September 20, 2005 @ 8:21 am

  20. How about another topic, Phil. Ants are out.

    Comment by Karen — October 4, 2005 @ 9:56 am

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