The LandPhil be honest, be honorable, be kind, be compassionate, and work hard.

February 10, 2006

What the hell?

Filed under: General — phil @ 12:10 pm

I was reading an article online just now and ran across the following:

For all intensive purposes

Um…what? It’s “for all intents and purposes” yahoo. We not talking about the ICU here. I swears.

January 18, 2006

An example

Filed under: General — phil @ 3:33 pm

Many people have asked what it’s like to be in technical support. Many people have assumed what it’s like to be in technical support. Many people think that they have what it takes to be in technical support. I’m am going to present an example that displays what being in technical support really entails — knowing how to do other people’s jobs.

Joe is 45 years old. He’s recently divorced with 2 kids. He went to college, but dropped out when his then girlfriend, now ex-wife got pregnant. He has worked in several fields including food service, sales, construction, and office management. His experience and his circumstances have landed him as a supervisor in the mail room of a large wall street investment firm.

Today, Joe is looking at being undermanned. It being after the holidays, he’s got a few guys out sick, and the always present few guys who still need to get back into the groove of working entire 5 day weeks again. So he’s out on the floor helping to sort mail and queue up carts for the runners. As he’s sifting through the current bin of incoming mail he comes across a piece that has been mis-delivered. It’s for a firm across the street. Joe’s options are:

  • 1) Take the mail across the street on his lunch or break.
  • 2) Call across the street and have them send a runner over to get it.
  • 3) Drop it back into the outgoing mail for the postal service to sort out.
  • 4) Ask his supervisor what he should do.

What does Joe choose to do?

Phil: Hello, this is corporate technical support. My name is Phil, how can I help you?
Joe: Hi, my name is Joe and I work down in the mail room. I got this piece of mail and it’s supposed to go across the street, what should I do?
Phil: Shove it up your ass and run out into traffic, fuckwad. *click*

November 18, 2005

Burning Man: Sunset

Filed under: General — phil @ 11:53 am

The sun, on the playa, is like the fridge light to the cockroaches. It comes on and the roaches scurry for safety. In our case, we scurry under shade and drink lots of water. Sometimes venturing out into the daytime world to see the sights, or work our shifts. Mostly, however, we just sit under our shade and drink our water and plan our evening.

The sun setting is a hallowed event. Usually there is yelling or screaming or cannon fire or heavy drinking. We aren’t particularly loud, and we didn’t have a cannon, so we opted for the heavy drinking. At least 3 of the nights we were out there we could go out onto the street and, as the sun set, throw back shots of 151. Not a bad way to start things.

One of the events that marked the passing of the orb of light out of our sight, this year, was the fire cannons. Even if you weren’t really paying attention, you couldn’t miss the deep whoooomp of the cannons firing. You could feel it in your chest. Detect it’s rumblings in the ground below you. You could also see the smoke rings that it generated:



To watch the cannons fire was intriguing. You would hear the sound and see a black mushroom cloud appear from the ground. The force of the blast with enough upward momentum to “spin” the cloud away and congeal into a ring. It was really cool.

And as the rings ascended and eventually dissipated, you were left with the pink clouded sky. The last signs of the day that had kept the cities occupants under wraps. Who were now emerging and beginning the night long party that would eventually welcome the sun back the following day.


October 31, 2005

Burning Man: The Playa

Filed under: General — phil @ 4:01 pm

Burning Man. It’s out on the playa. Playa is your life, or rather, becomes your life. Not because you need it, but because it permeates into your entire being when you’re there.

Here’s a before pic:

And an after pic:
(click pics for original size pictures)

The second picture really doesn’t do it justice. The playa is so fine that it will get into anything. And the wind whips it up into solid fog almost. As seen here:

October 6, 2005


Filed under: General — phil @ 6:27 pm

Some dude just backed into my car. At a stop sign. He just threw it in reverse and ran into my ass.


Kenpo, day 1

Filed under: General — phil @ 10:04 am

Last week Tano asked me if I was interested in going to kenpo with him. The instructor that he was taking classes from in Pasadena had moved to a studio in Diamond Bar, so Tano wanted to start up again. He invited me to come with him. So, last night we drove out to the studio and attended.

It was in the back of a little industrial park. The kenpo studio was behind a hula dancing studio. So, the entire night there was hula music and drumming. Not exactly conducive at some points, but I actually didn’t notice it most of the time. There were three of us that were there for the class. Myself (a newb, no belt), Tano (orange belt), and some other guy who’s name I did not get (green belt.) Turns out the third guy used to work as a security guard at Caltech. Small world.

It was a lot of fun. It didn’t seem like I did a lot of work, but I was sweating pretty good by the end of it. I learned 3 (of the 10 yellow belt) techniques, the first blocking set, we went through all the punchs and kicks (and boy did my hips hurt after that. We didn’t even do that many!), and a whole bunch of footwork. Clearly that will be the hard part. Learning the moves for the techniques was not particularly difficult, but moving my feet presented problems.

We’ll be going Mondays and Wednesdays for sure, possibly on Fridays too. Definitely something to look forward to at the end of the day.

August 1, 2005


Filed under: General — phil @ 3:37 pm

I have an ant problem in my apartment. I’m sure that, initially, it was my fault. I let the dishes gather in my sink too long, and a few days later I noticed that I had little friends roaming the towers of dishes. They were coming in under the front door. So, I cleaned up my dishes, killed all the ants I could see, and kept things clean for a couple of weeks. I thought I was free and clear.

Then one day I noticed that I had a line of ants come out from under my counter, across the floor to my pantry and up the side. I opened the cupboard and couldn’t find where they were going. I killed all the ones I could see.

Some time later I decided I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, so I grabbed the peanut butter out of the cupboard. It had ants on the outside of it. I opened it up, and it had ants inside of it too!! So, I killed all the ants again, fished the few out of the jar, and made myself a sandwich. I put the peanut butter in the refrigerator.

The next morning I got up and checked the “route” that I had squashed the night before: it was clear. Wooho, little fuckers. So I took another step into my kitchen and noticed minute movement. There was another, new line of ants traveling from under my dishwasher across the entire kitchen, and up the other side of the pantry. I was livid.

I went through my cupboard trying to figure out what the ants were in. Apparently, ants like Cheerios! So, pissed off, I called the apartment manager. She informed me that everyone had ants and that she’d send the handyman out to spray. I don’t think he ever came out as my ant problem didn’t appear to have been culled by the end of the day, and there was no indication (like the signed work ticket) that they’d even been in the apartment. Unfortunately, it was Friday, and I had weekend plans.

Last night I returned home with Grant’s Ant Stakes (courtesy of my mother). I placed one by the dishwasher and one by the pantry cupboard. This morning, I saw at least half a dozen ants running around on them. No noticeable declination of ant population, but I’m hopeful that they’re on their way out.

We’ll see.

July 14, 2005

The Tube is Civilization

Filed under: General — phil @ 10:27 am

I am now the proud owner of one of these:

198 of 750.

And, in case you live under a rock: The original comic

June 29, 2005

Idiots abound

Filed under: General — phil @ 10:43 pm

So, I just got back to my computer. On it was an ICQ message from Tano. It’s quite a story.

Apparently, some dumb ass couldn’t get through the front gate to our complex. They tried the keypad, but it didn’t work. So, what do they do instead? They ram the gate with their car and force the gate open. It’s broken now.

The punchline: The apartment manager was in her car behind them. She wrote down their license plate and the make and model of the car and called the police.

Justice is served.

May 11, 2005

There was this guy…

Filed under: General — phil @ 3:56 pm

So, we just got this sent to us via one of the all-campus mailing lists. It is a crime bulletin put out by the campus police department. What I quote below is an excerpt:

Upon arrival, our officer contacted a 20 year old male UCR student who had been was punched in the face by a known male suspect, who had fled after the attack. The victim suffered injuries to his face and mouth, and was treated at the scene by Fire Department paramedics. He was later transported to the hospital by a friend.

The suspect is believed to be an off-campus neighbor of the victim, a 24 year old UCR student, with whom the victim has had on-going problems and arguments with.

Anyone with information regarding this incident should please call our Investigations Bureau at

I’m tempted to call them up.

“Yeah, about the crime bulletin you just posted. I know this guy, he lives next to this other guy. They fight all the time. Are they the same people? No, I don’t know their names.”

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